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DEAR READER PLEASE NOTE: You may need to seek skilled help with navigating your particular relational situation. The content below is simply designed to point Christ followers relationally affected by Christian Codependency, to God’s fundamental Truth on the matter according to The Bible. Thank You!
AVOIDING CHRISTIAN CODEPENDENCY; starts by realizing what it is. And ends by deciding to practice The Love of God FIRST, as your personal Christian resolve. Christian Codependency is placing something or someone above God’s place in your heart & Life. To the point you begin denying Him, over compromising, even outright rejecting His known will, character & behavior for you. All to please others: or even yourself “with them”. Avoiding this is a matter of deciding to practice & develop God’s clear Will & Way in Your Life as a Christian.
THIS TRUTH & PRACTICE IS FUNDAMENTALLY NECESSARY & APPLICABLE TO EVERY CHRISTIAN. NO EXCEPTIONS!
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The reason is because, we are all born into this world irreparably broken away from God spiritually. Subject to seeking something or someone to love &/or be loved by, to affirm our worth, value & purpose; in the absence of His (God’s) Love in our heart. We all need to be reborn, reconnected & returned back to the kind of personal relationship with God, He originally designed for & with us. This can only be realized by being Born Again through Jesus as The Christ, &/or returned in our heart back to God through Him; if we have in fact strayed away from Him: aka – Repentance.
Once we’ve done this, our New Life in Christ must remain & develop in a place where God, His Will & His Way has 1st place priority in us always. To violate this, by allowing someone or something else other than Him to have that kind of 1st place priority & controlling influence over us, becomes idolatry: aka – codependency.
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Christian codependency can be very obscure, because it thrives on our innate desire to please God by doing the Good things He has taught us to do in Jesus Name. Only, it can be done in excess when the person or thing we seek to lovingly serve, lacks or refuses to take ownership for their appropriate part of the responsibility, to keep ourselves according to The Will & Way of God that we know. Typically, this results in an enabling, guilt based obligation to serve them; that becomes habit forming & unhealthily addictive: often being done in The Name of Christian Loving Care.
The Truth is, each of us as Christians are responsible to live our Christian lives in personal relationship to God FIRST. Deriving our Worth, Peace, Value & Security solely from our relationship with Him IN Christ. When we do otherwise, it’s like trying to put a precision crafted gear assembly back together, apart from the manufacturers precision engineered design & specification. It might still function initially. But not optimally as the manufacturer designed it; quite often being increasingly detectable that something is off!
Similarly, our codependent relationships might still function initially. But not optimally as God designed it. Increasingly detectable that something is off; requiring frequently abnormal maintenance, that begins to produce frequently abnormal frustration. Often leading to frequent & abnormal burn out, separation & unfortunately even abandonment.
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The remedy for this in all instances, is God’s Truth on the matter: His Will, His Way must be FIRST & foremost in the heart & mind of each individual person. And, is thus our “mutual responsibility” to own & encourage each other, in the practice of Godliness & The Pursuit of Holiness, according to The Truth of God we both know, in personal Worship individually unto Him FIRST.
As Christians, we must continue in the Truth of God for ourselves, when others don’t or won’t accept their appropriate responsibility to do their reasonable part toward God through Christ as they know they should. Christian Codependency begins or ends right there; with what we decide to do when faced with such a relational predicament. Although the answer may be clear & obvious in our minds… follow God. it is not always easy to carry out in our flesh. Because the ability to actually carry it out as a couple, is relationally driven by our personal & individual Faith & Love for God FIRST. This best & properly enables The Holy Spirit within us to properly reconcile our hearts relationally to God as needed FIRST. Which in turns facilitates our relational reconciliation to Him & one another collectively. Relationally, God must forever be each of our FIRST LOVE in all of life. Anything less constitutes idolatry. Let God be True on the matter. And everything else false. IN Jesus Name. Amen.
Again, you may need to seek skilled help with navigating your particular relational situation. The content shared here, is simply designed to point Christ followers relationally affected by Christian Codependency, to God’s fundamental Truth on the matter according to The Bible. Thank You!
